• Prachi Daga

Trivial Survival

Please make way, we have an emergency!’ A Maximus trolley whizzed down the aesthetically lit corridor barely escaping the Planner bots, Specialist Bots, and some Couples Therapist and Lawyer bots.

Going over to Room 101 -- please make way -- gotta reach Room 101. Emergency!’

Oi, Maximus qÆx-Xi! Watch it!’ cried a Therapist Bot who was close to being nicked.

Sorry, duo-bond-breaching situation. Emergency.’ qÆx-Xi whizzed even faster than an origami fan in the hands of a running teenager.

99, 100, 101, 102… Oh, no!’ It took qÆx-Xi another four rooms to slow down and zoom back recklessly again.

Ouch! Is that you Maximus qÆx-Xi? Not again!’ A Planner bot pranced on the single uninjured foot.

qÆx-Xi apologized gaily and rushed into room 101. It opened to a beautiful tropical forest. There were looming trees and droopy leaves rustling deep in conversation with their neighbors. There were ornamental blue parrots perched artistically on visible parts of various branches.

They probably didn’t have the budget for those almost extinct and exquisite birds. And by running through their themes data qÆx-Xi found that the idea of an open wedding at a tropical forest was that of the groom; that surprised it.

The set-up was predictably tropical. And through their crisis aversion data, qÆx-Xi also found that the bride had been adamant about wearing heels under her poufy dress. A disastrous decision for her dress had to be unevenly cut and those expensive heels had to be tossed out ten minutes into the ceremony.

It scoffed and trod its path carefully thereon. There were wooden logs lined in between the seating area, on which sat the guests. There weren’t many decorative flowers or anything wedding-like, but there was coconut water being served.

A vegan wedding was what it was referred to as, in here, vegan but tasteless. If there was one thing that wasn’t off about this wedding it was the bride and groom and their choice of expressions at the moment. They looked pissed. Almost near the altar and largely unsure of what to do with the mosquito repellents it had, qÆx-Xi slowed its pace even more.

A frantic Therapist bot paced between them trying to defuse the situation. It asked them to take in deep breaths whilst narrating the story of when they first met in the most expressively monotone voice in the history of ever. A rather talented bot. It seemed like their meeting at a popular Zen meditation class was the last thing they wanted to hear because it only worked in morphing their faces into the ugliest possible you-disgust-me expressions


qÆx-Xi was near the altar now, on the bride’s side, a few steps right behind her. A lawyer bot listened to their complaints and sudden realizations of their differences and incompatibility. And, a certain mention of too many mosquitoes at the groom’s choice of the venue being the ultimate realization for the bride too.

The divorce was finalized as quickly as the marriage. It was water under the bridge already.

How they did it every time, all of them who part after eons worth of promises, surpassed Maximus Trolley qÆx-Xi by the farthest.

But there were more important things: it logged in to the system and tweaked the data- mosquito repellent delivered, tried but failed to avert.

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